Have you ever wondered why you get attached to someone so quickly?
You just start getting drawn to that person like a magnet.
And your mind starts creating stories…
This is the one for me.
He is special.
She is special.
This person is very different… and I will never find someone like this again.
You know what?
When I went deeper into this, I realised that this behaviour is not random at all.
There is a whole psychology behind it.
And in this video, we will discuss all those important reasons —
those psychological factors that make you get attached to someone so quickly.
And more importantly, what you can do instead…
so that the person doesn’t start pulling away from you,
and you actually have the power to choose —
whether to accept, like, or reject that person.
Root Cause No. 1
That person has something which you don’t have.
As harsh as it may sound, there is something missing in you…
and you feel deeply impressed by that person because they have that quality.
It could be:
- the way they communicate
- their soft skills
- their patience
- their dressing sense
- their looks
It could be anything.
But very often, it is something you feel is lacking in you.
And it is your responsibility to identify that.
Root Cause No. 2
Your environment while growing up.
Your environment plays a very important role.
It’s possible that in your school or college,
you didn’t come across many people who:
- were very confident
- were highly presentable
- were admired by others
- or someone you could look up to
So later in life, when you meet someone who has all these qualities,
your mind immediately labels them as rare and special.
And when the brain thinks something is rare,
it starts fearing losing it.
That’s why the moment that person starts talking to you,
you begin to feel attached very quickly.
Root Cause No. 3
You are not attached to the person… you are attached to their image.
This is very important.
You don’t actually know the person.
But your mind creates an image of them —
and you get attached to that image.
Your mind starts building stories:
- they must be very understanding
- they are different from others
- they will truly understand me
But this is all imagination.
The reality is —
you haven’t given yourself enough time to actually know them.
Root Cause No. 4
You don’t feel fulfilled within yourself.
This is one of the most important reasons.
If someone admires you…
appreciates your looks, your personality, your dressing sense —
you instantly start getting drawn towards them.
Why?
Because somewhere, you have not appreciated yourself in that way.
Or you have not truly loved yourself for who you are.
So when someone else gives you that validation,
you start depending on them for that feeling.
And the moment you feel special because of them,
you become overly attached.
And let’s be honest —
that kind of clinginess pushes people away.
Root Cause No. 5
Your mind exaggerates how special they are.
When you meet someone like this,
your mind starts exaggerating their qualities.
Because those qualities feel rare to you,
you begin to overvalue that person.
You start thinking:
I will never find someone like this again.
If this person is not in my life, my life has no meaning.
I won’t be able to survive without them.
You create this entire narrative in your mind.
And this narrative blinds you completely…
and keeps you attached to that person
even when they are not right for you.
So, what can you do?
How do you stop getting attached so quickly to someone you find special…
and instead create space for them to like you?
I’m telling you this from personal experience.
Now I am at a stage where even if someone extremely impressive comes in front of me…
I am not going to put them on a pedestal.
Not until I am sure that this person is actually right for me.
What you need to do
You need to repeat this to yourself:
“I cannot get attached to someone I don’t know.”
Again and again.
Because think about it:
You don’t know:
- if they genuinely appreciate you
- what their intentions are
- whether your values match
- what kind of person they really are
So how can you get attached to someone you don’t even know?
You can’t.
Shift your focus
Instead of imagining them…
start knowing them.
Focus on:
- their behaviour
- their habits
- their energy
- their lifestyle
- their mindset
The moment you shift from imagination to observation,
you take back your power.
Now you are in a position to:
- accept them
- reject them
- or choose wisely
And that is very powerful.
Final note
I am not saying that attachment is wrong.
Attachment is natural.
But initial attachment without knowing the person —
that is what creates problems.
I hope you understood what I wanted to share.
See you in the next one.
Till then, stay happy, stay safe, and stay positive. 💛
